Enneagram Type THREE on Vacation

What’s the Enneagram, and what are we talking about when we say type THREE? Check out our Enneagram Types of Vacation post and our Enneagram Resources page to learn what the Enneagram is and why we think it’s useful when applied to travel.

People don’t fit in boxes

One of the major arguments against personality typing systems I have heard is that people are so multi-faceted; how can a personality type define all the subtleties of an individual?

We have been amazed at how extensive the Enneagram is. While you can dabble and learn a great deal of helpful information, you can also do a deep dive and still not touch the bottom.

We would never want to put anyone in a box or say that we fully understand another human being because we will never be able to experience how another brain works. However, we’ve found the Enneagram to be extremely helpful in articulating our motivations and learning how to relate as we travel together.

Who is Enneagram type THREE?

At their best, type THREE has contagious confidence, enthusiasm, and focus that will inspire others to be the best they can be. They love to champion other people and good causes. Being others-focused allows them to achieve amazing things for the greater good.

They are humble, self-directed, and team players. They are clear and straightforward communicators.

They tend to be leaders, hard workers, efficient, and productive.

Healthy Threes have transcended the goal of merely looking good and are moving toward being known and loved for who they are, not for what they accomplish.

The Road Back to You
Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

But, the THREE’s desire to appear successful, confident, and the best at everything becomes an exhausting burden.

A THREE can spend so much energy, money, and time trying to impress, that they lose sight of who they are.

“THREEs can work really hard and pour all their energy into a project. They are often highly competent in their field and strike others as more competent still. People believe they have mastered their job and are convinced of their cause.”

The Enneagram a Christian Perspective
Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert

THREES are known as the ultimate shape-shifters. They can read the room in any crowd and become who they think they need to be to stand out.

The need for excellence (or at least to appear excellent) can cause unhealthy games of comparison, competitiveness, and workaholism.

To better understand THREES, use our Favorite Enneagram Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram to learn more about this and the other types.

Enneagram type THREE is often called…

The Successful Achiever, The Performer, The Achiever

Basic fear

Being exposed as incompetent, inefficient, worthless or a failure.

Basic desire

High status, respect, and being admired as successful and valuable.

Key characteristics

Accomplished, motivating, optimistic, adaptable, self-promoting, and driven.

Deadly sin or passion

Deceit.

Enneagram type THREE strengths

Healthy THREES have a strong and accurate self-image. They are confident, accept their limitations, and draw others with their charisma and authenticity.

Because they value self-development and tend to take care of themselves, THREES keep the tank full. This enables them to love others and help without an agenda. They can be fabulous in the helping professions, inspiring others to be their best.

You are an optimistic, accomplished, and adaptable person who is able to see all that can be achieved in life. You always excel and are able to reach ambitious goals with apparent ease and confidence.

Becoming Us: Using the Enneagram to Create a Thriving Gospel-Centered Marriage
Beth McCord and Jeff McCord

If you have a cause to promote, you will do well to have a THREE on your side. Highly persuasive, they can make anything seem appealing and attractive. They build morale and community. They can celebrate and champion other people. When THREES are in a good place, they have nothing to prove.

They see a wide range of possibilities and can set ambitious, audacious goals – and achieve them. Efficient, productive, masters at multi-tasking; THREES get things done.

Enneagram type THREE struggles

And then there’s the other side of THREES. Like all Enneagram types, THREES have things to watch out for and work on.

THREES want to come across as winners. Understanding that success and “winning” look different for everyone is important.

The definition of success is defined by our environment – our family, community, culture, and social circle. Sometimes, it looks like money and career success. But it can also be fame, academic achievement, religious success, prowess at sports or music, or even beauty.

A THREES chief weakness is deceit.

Deceit comes in two forms – self-deception that they are an idealized image and an outward projection of that idealized image.

At their most unhealthy, life becomes a performance to THREES. They have to appear like they’ve got it all together, effortlessly, and without your help; thank you very much.

Anxiety and insecurity lead to comparing themselves incessantly, competing over every little thing, and being driven to be outstanding – always.

Of course, this is the road to mental illness, burnout, and the alienation of relationships.

Leveraging Enneagram type THREE strengths and struggles in travel

Awareness of our strengths and struggles is often half the battle to address them. When we know what we’re good at and weak in, it’s easier to work in a team, seek help, or leverage what we know about ourselves to improve our circumstances.

Travel strengths

THREES can be great travel companions.

Guaranteed, vacationing with a THREE will be action-packed. You will see and do a lot.

They are natural problem solvers, coming to the table with a solutions mindset. Anyone who’s traveled once knows there are always problems to solve on a trip.

THREES are polite, friendly, and have excellent manners – traits that open doors during day-to-day travel.

In growth and emotional health, THREES focus less on themselves and more on others. They are loyal to those they love and are capable of cooperation and a commitment to the good of their travel companions.

Travel struggles

THREES tend to become their own personal public relations department. Everything in life is orchestrated to improve public perception of their perfect life.

This is exhausting for the family of a THREE. Whether it’s dressing in matching outfits so their Instagram feed looks beautiful or conquering every single ride at Disneyland, they often drag their family on vacations that look more like magazine shoots. Family travel becomes a project to destroy.

And when others slow them down – watch out. A disintegrating THREE will be impatient, speak sharply in irritation, and finally disengage and become indifferent to what’s happening around them.

“THREEs are the type that can especially benefit from meditation, although you are one of the types least likely to meditate. Sitting around “doing nothing” doesn’t make much sense to their task-driven ego, but it makes a lot of sense to your soul. And meditating is far from doing nothing. In fact, short of child-rearing, it is probably the greatest challenge that they will ever face.” 

The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

At the other extreme, your THREE might have come fully equipped to keep the economic success engine running.

Every line is an opportunity to knock off a few emails. They spend hours in the hotel lobby making calls after the kids are in bed. A plane ride is obviously meant for bringing out the laptop.

They are masters at multi-tasking and handle work and vacation with aplomb – unless you ask their slightly ignored and emotionally starved family.

Enneagram Type THREE and vacation

What does vacation mean for type THREE?

At their best, a type THREE vacations to reconnect. Both with loved ones and with their stuffed down feelings.

They will search for something bigger than themselves – either family cooperation, working on a cause, communicating, or supporting friends.

When a type THREE is not reflective, their travel is often another status symbol to collect and show off to the world.

What is the ideal vacation for type THREE?

Type THREES need to do things. They usually pick activity-based vacations and pack the days with sightseeing and adventure.

They gravitate toward things they’re already good at – since feeling like a failure is the worst possible scenario for a THREE.

Traveling to the same place and doing the same thing will often appeal to them. And if the location and activity are deemed impressive in their social sphere, all the better.

Traveling relationally for Enneagram type THREE

Enneagram Type THREE’s traveling with others

THREES, you need to realize people aren’t as quick and efficient as you are. And they may not even care!

You become irritated with overly emotional conversations, but your loved ones need your empathy. Consider sincere and patient listening a skill to master – it’s the best form of vacation self-improvement.

Beware of turning everything into a competition, stealing the joy and camaraderie from potentially happy memories. Instead, tap into your best self and foster an atmosphere of teamwork and cooperation.

And for the workaholic THREES in the room – step away from the laptop and show your people that you love and VALUE them.

Traveling with a THREE

THREE’s appear to have it all together.

But right under the surface are anxiety, and insecurity.

Traveling with a THREE can be a lonely experience due to their underlying insecurity and anxiety; they often keep others at an emotional distance – even spouses.

You can help your THREE by ensuring them of your love, affirming their worth to you, and focusing on their being – rather than their accomplishments. Please encourage them to leave their image at home and tap into who they authentically are.

What would incentivize Threes to change in a culture that applauds and rewards them for embodying our cultural definition of success? America is a Three country! Countless numbers of us look at Threes, and think, Man, I wish I were him or her. I say this because we are all complicit in perpetuating a world that encourages these wonderful folks to continue living in service to a lie.

The Road Back to You
Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

Some things that will almost certainly create conflict with THREES:

• Getting blamed for things that they didn’t do or that they had no control over.
• Being embarrassed.
• Situations where they have a high chance of failing.
• Not being recognized for their contributions and accomplishments.

And if at all possible, communicate clearly. THREES go bonkers when faced with vagueness and hints.

Type THREE and traveling the world

Skills for the type THREE tool belt: improve your travel experiences

Skill 1: Do not share your trip

One time, just once, do not tell anyone about your vacation. Keep what you’re doing and where you’re going between you and your travel companions (and anyone that needs to know for safety reasons.)

This means no workplace bragging, self-promotion on social media, or one-upping your sister.

And no matter what, do not share what a “success” your trip is on social media before, during, and after the trip.

Just let the vacation be your happy little secret.

This exercise delivers a death blow to the need to be noticed and recognized.

It will cause you to surrender the desire to pad your public image.

And who knows, maybe you will choose a trip you genuinely want to invest in, even if it’s not impressive and glamorous.

Skill 2: Unplug completely

Use your next vacation to put a halt to achieving.

Avoid any activity that smacks of self-improvement – except for learning to listen.

Leave email, voice mail, and any kind of work behind.

Think first about the well-being of others on the trip. Focus solely on your travel companions. Give your whole self to your family or friends.

Skill 3: Take a boring vacation

That’s right, plan a trip focusing on solitude, silence, and time to just be.

THREES have to block out time for self-reflection because they have difficulty dealing with emotions at the moment. Over time suppressing feelings causes emotional numbness.

Not only do you lose the ability to name, feel, and express your own emotions, but you can’t see them in others.

A vacation where you can be yourself, without any thought of admiration, earning accolades, or garnering a traveling trophy, is good for the THREES soul.

One thing that you could do – is try something creative that you probably won’t be good at, for no pragmatic reason than you want to. And like Skill #1 – keep it to yourself.

Here’s what a few type THREES said…

Interview #1: Sarah Hubbart from Wandering Road Blog

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

Planning and the trip itself.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

Vacation means feeling like I’ve had enough time to experience the personality of a new place and learn what makes it unique. It is about making new memories.

What is something you/THREE struggle with when traveling? 

I used to struggle with the feeling of not wanting to miss out on any of the best things to do (or eat) when visiting a new place. That has changed since I travel full-time now and have learned it is a good thing to save some to-dos for future visits or risk burn out!

I think THREES are notorious over-planners. The idea of doing nothing and relaxing during a vacation also stresses me out.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

Making plans that everyone traveling in the group can enjoy can be challenging. Since I am usually the planner, I feel pressure to ensure everyone is having a great time.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

My husband and I travel full-time in the U.S. in our RV. We research small towns and off-the-beaten-path locations using blogs and social media. We look for outdoorsy destinations that are a bit under the radar. I also focus on finding the best things to eat and drink wherever we stop.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I’m currently traveling full-time while working. While this isn’t our forever plan, I think it is a pretty ideal way for THRESS to travel because it gives you the freedom to experience a new destination at your own pace and takes away some of the pressure to “do everything.”

As far as THREES in general…

That’s a tough one. I think THRESS struggle with a constant feeling of needing to be productive – and travel can be at odds with that. If I’m honest, that’s probably why I’ve felt the urge to start a blog and Instagram to document our travels. But, I think THREES are also driven to find new experiences, so travel also intrinsically provides a sense of accomplishment.

Interview #2: Barbara at The Wandering Cloud Blog

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

I love everything about traveling. Planning the trip and looking back.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

What is a vacation?

It doesn’t appear in my vocabulary.

No, I’m just kidding!

I think that for me, vacation means being able to turn off and forget about the phone, the computer, whatever; the only tech tool that I want to use is my camera to have beautiful memories. 

What is something you/THREE struggle with when traveling? 

If I have to travel with someone else, I struggle to make them understand the rules. If we have to be in the lobby of the hotel at a particular hour because we have to catch a plane, they have to respect the timetable; otherwise, we may miss the flight. 

I was in charge of leading a group of athletes last year in Indonesia, and I had trouble with one of the riders because he’s not prone to respect rules… and Indonesia has different religions; you have to be able to respect all of them. 

The rider was showing a lack of respect towards the Muslim culture and I had to explain to him multiple times to behave.

Up until the moment when I snapped at him and I told him to stop behaving like a toddler.

I struggle when I give people chances to live a better life, and I make them part of my team while traveling, and they misbehave. That, for me, is not only a struggle but also something unfortunate.

I struggle with a lack of organization. I also don’t like discomfort. For example, if I reserve a hotel, and in reality, the hotel is different from what I expect. Because when I travel, I use the material I produce there for my blog and social media, so I like it to be up to my expectations.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

The suitcases.

We usually have extra baggage, but my boyfriend is a professional motocross rider, so one of the suitcases is always full of his motocross gear. We have to pack one bag with all of our stuff, and I have to check, double check and triple-check the weight because we take several airlines, and each one of them has a different limit for the weight, and I don’t want to end up paying a lot of money for the overweight.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

I try to check the best fares and the flights’ length.

 I make sure that if it’s a really long flight, we have at least a few hours to rest before taking the plane to the next location to make it less stressful.

I’m talking about flights that are already over 24 hours. For example, last year, we made a trip from Mexico to Canada to China to Indonesia, and in Jakarta, we took another plane to go to the final destination.

The year before, we went from Mexico City to Amsterdam, and from Amsterdam, we went to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, and then we ended up in Jakarta.

Many times when we travel to South Asia, it means that we arrive, and almost right away, we have to get to an event. This means not having a lot of rest, so I try to make the trip as comfortable as possible.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I can easily work from wherever I am as long as I have the Internet. And my work most of the time, brings me to travel a lot. 

But if I didn’t have any budget constraints…I think that I would teach my cats to walk on a leash and probably people would never see me again.

I love traveling, and it doesn’t matter if it’s for work or if it’s for pleasure; I think that I am not made to be the kind of person who just settles down and never travels. I have so many countries and cities on my bucket list, and to see all of them, it requires time. 

Of course, I’m doing my best to travel as much as possible, and I try never to lose the chance to go. If someone asked me, “Barbara, do you want to go to Paris tomorrow?” I would probably just pack my backpack and go. 

How do you think your orientation to time (i.e. past, present, future) affects your perspective on traveling with others?

I think that, as I am oriented toward the future, it allows me to always put my hands in front of me, being able to prevent some catastrophic thing that could go wrong.

So most of my travels always go smoothly, because I am prepared.

Interview #3: Lauren Cirkot from AlwaysFindAdventure.com

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

The very first stages of planning a trip bring me so much joy! I love researching new countries and cities to visit, looking up awesome experiences to do there, learning the cities and maps, and finding the best deals to make it all happen. 

The trip itself centers me and melts any stress away. Even if I find myself in a stressful situation while traveling, I’m able to handle it no problem. Travel opens up my spirit. I learn and grow, develop patience, and feel healthier. I try to emulate this in my everyday life, as I see so many benefits of just letting go and letting things happen.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

I’ve learned that a vacation and a trip are two different things. I used to say, “I’m going on vacation,” when really I meant I was taking a trip. A trip is traveling with an action-packed itinerary, and oftentimes I feel the need to take a vacation from my “vacation.” I do all the things, see all the sights, and make the most of my time, except for proper relaxation.

Travelling does allow me to step out of my routine and stop working to a point, but I don’t completely stop working or creating content. Trips are usually strategic in that I research Instagrammable places to visit and top restaurants to eat in. I also make time to jot down notes for future blogs and videos.

Vacation, on the other hand, would be sitting on a beach for a week tanning and floating in the ocean, letting go of all my thoughts and worries, and reconnecting with a peaceful state of mind. Vacation days are those days when absolutely nothing is planned, and I tell myself not to work, and I just be. 

What is something you/THREE struggle with when traveling? 

I sometimes struggle with packing in too many activities and find it challenging to remember to slow down. It takes a really conscientious effort on my part to be spontaneous and let things happen naturally, instead of trying to fit in everything on my list.

I also struggle with wanting to capture every moment perfectly, especially since I’m a travel writer and content creator. Being too focused on how to make a moment work for my blog can take away from being present and enjoying the moment.

I think it’s hard for Threes to slow down and enjoy the moment. I often find myself checking emails or sticking too literally to an itinerary when really I should put my phone down and see where the day takes me.

Threes usually value achievement, so if you’re a content creator like me, you’re always comparing yourself to other travel content creators to make sure you’re doing it correctly. I have to remember to stop, be present, and simply enjoy. 

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

My biggest hurdle is getting over the fear that I’ve missed putting something on my itinerary. I’m constantly researching so that I can guarantee myself that I won’t miss out on anything. I want to hit all the recommended places and make the most of my time.

I’m also borderline obsessed with finding the best deal (price for value and need) that I waste time going down too many rabbit holes when really any accommodation will do. A $20 difference isn’t going to break the bank, but because of that ‘achiever’ mode, I want to be able to brag that I got the best deal and keep my reputation as the best deal finder. 

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

Usually, I have a goal in mind (like visiting all the continents or at least 30 countries by the end of my 30^th year). I also keep a list of experiences that I want to have, so I look for trips that will enable me to have those experiences.

I’ll then keep an eye on cheap flights, and once I see a flight that is cheap and to a place that will help me reach a goal, I book the flight. Then I start looking for accommodations and excursions and begin planning my next adventure!

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I would be a full-time traveler, within reason. I would like to have a home base in both Europe and the US and keep a routine to stay healthy and maintain relationships with friends.

If I didn’t have to set aside time for work and budgeting, I would travel as often as possible. I would also extend the length of my trips so that I could slow-travel.

A normal trip for me is 1-2 weeks, but it’d be cool to spend 1-3 months in one place at a time and really immerse myself in a new place. Then I’d come back to my home base, catch up on work, and make time for family and friends. 

I think it depends on what Threes do for work. Because I create travel content and have a digital business, I can travel whenever I want. Before, when I was working in corporate, I was using all my vacation days. Because

Three’s are obsessed with success and achievement, the only thing that would hold us back is working. If say a big promotion was coming down the line, a three might put travel on hold to work toward that goal. 

Interview #4: Kim Wilkin from TheAbundantTraveler

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

My favorite part of the trip is being there, learning about new cultures and new people. I love eating delicious local food and finding hidden gems. I like to be active during a trip, and I am rarely idle.

I also love the game of trip planning. Finding the right location, accommodation, and transportation before I go is always fun.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

Vacation means going and doing, exploring and being adventurous. Lounging on the beach is not high on the list for a THREE!

What is something you/THREE struggle with when traveling? 

I struggle with slowing down, and doing nothing on a trip.

I think a THREE would struggle with trying to accomplish everything there is to do and see at a particular destination. I also thing a THREE would struggle with being present, and taking time to slow down.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

I feel I spend too much time doing research. I love the game of finding the best places and the best prices, but I tend to spend too much time doing this.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

I usually pick a destination based on someone’s recommendation. For example, when I wanted to learn to scuba dive, a travel friend said I should liar in Dahab, Egypt. She said Dahab is one of the best places to dive in the world, so I waiting, and missed other diving opportunities just so I could have my first scuba experience in one of the best places in the world.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I would travel 6-7 months a year if time and money were not a concern. I would also travel more if I had a travel companion/partner. I love to travel solo, but it’s more fun to share a trip with someone.

Based on the information about THREE’s, we tend to be workaholics and over-achievers (in our own mind), so we wouldn’t likely travel often.

More resources

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile

Enneagram Types on Vacation

Favorite Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram

Enneagram Type One on Vacation

Enneagram Type TWO on Vacation

Enneagram Type FOUR on Vacation

Enneagram Type FIVE on Vacation

Enneagram Type SIX on Vacation

Enneagram Type SEVEN on Vacation

Enneagram Type EIGHT on Vacation

Enneagram Type on NINE on Vacation

Enneagram Types on Vacation: Wrap-Up