Enneagram Type TWO on Vacation

Enneagram Type TWO and Travel

If you are new to the Enneagram and are interested in discovering what this typing system is all about, and specifically what type you are, visit our Enneagram Types of Vacation post. It is an overview of the Enneagram and how to find your type.

People don’t fit in boxes

One of the major arguments against personality typing systems is that people are so multi-faceted; how can a personality type define all of an individual’s subtleties?

We have been amazed at how extensive the Enneagram is. While you can dabble and learn a great deal of helpful information, you can deep dive and still not touch the bottom.

We would never want to put anyone in a box or say that we totally understand another human being because we will never experience how another brain works. However, we’ve found the Enneagram to be extremely helpful in articulating how we’re motivated in this world and learning how to relate to each other as we travel together.

Who is type Enneagram TWO?

At their best, a type TWO is genuinely helpful, considerate, and interested in others.

They go out of their way to be generous. They lavish attention and love on the people they meet.

Because of their understanding, patience, and encouragement, TWOS often help people recognize their good qualities and gifts.

“You see the world through relationships, believing that all people deserve to feel that someone loves and cares for them. You take a genuine interest in others and support anyone in need through your acts of service, helpful advice, and nurturing disposition.”

Becoming Us
Beth and Jeff McCord

But, like every Enneagram type, this desire to put others first has a shadow side.

TWOS can spend so much energy, emotion, and money lending a helping hand that they give too much of themselves away.

In an unhealthy TWO, this hyper-focus on others’ needs, combined with their desperate need to be accepted and liked, can cause an identity crisis.

TWO’s can burnout. And along with burnout comes possessiveness, manipulation, and resentment.

Empathy twists into boundary-crossing, people-pleasing, and secret anger.

To better understand TWOS, use our Favorite Enneagram Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram to learn more about this and the other types.

Enneagram type TWO is often called…

The Helper. The Altruist. The Lover. The Caretaker. The Pleaser. The Enabler.

Basic fear

Fear of being rejected, unloved, and unwanted.

Basic desire

To feel loved, to be wanted, to be appreciated.

Key characteristics

Generous, caring, demonstrative, thoughtful, possessive, people-pleasing.

Deadly sin or passion

Pride

Focus on the needs and emotions of others while denying their own.

A type TWO can believe they know what’s best for others. And then they want gratitude for their care.

Type TWO strengths

TWOS have an open-hearted and genuine concern for others. They are thoughtful and generous. They attract others with encouragement, attention, and support.

Healthy TWOS are often intuitive, friendly, and hospitable.

They make excellent friends, family members, and spouses because of their loyalty and caring nature. No one can share suffering with you like a TWO.

They are masters at comfort, asking the right questions and giving helpful advice.

“The gift of their sincere good works speaks more eloquently for them than anything they could say. Thus, Twos are gifted with the extraordinary ability not simply to care about others but to actually do something meaningful for them.

The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

Enneagram type TWO struggles

Until they’re not.

It’s easy for a TWO to cross the line and get overly involved in the lives of others.

Part of the problem is that everyone, from the grocery clerk to their mother, matters to them. Trouble prioritizing relationships wears them out and often means the ones they love most get the leftovers.

As they continue to ignore their needs, a TWO will crave more recognition and appreciation for their good deeds.

And watch out when they don’t get it. The giver becomes the martyr.

” TWOS have to look for two warning signals: Shame and the need to assign blame. When they are ashamed of their own needs, TWOs are in danger. The same is true when they begin to accuse other people or God. As soon as they have the feeling that they fall short, they need a scapegoat. It can be hell to incur the hatred of a TWO. TWOs can hate as intensely as they can love.”

The Enneagram A Christian Perspective
Richard Rohr and Andreas Ebert

Leveraging type TWO strengths and struggles in travel

Awareness of our strengths and struggles is often half the battle to address them. When we know what we’re good at and weak in, it’s easier to work in a team, seek help, or leverage what we know about ourselves to improve our circumstances.

Strengths

TWOS make great travel companions.

They love being with people and value relationships and family bonding.

No one listens better, is more empathetic, or is interested in their companions than a TWO.

They will be sensitive to others’ desires – often knowing just what’s needed in a situation before anyone else is even aware.

TWOS are the consummate helper. They will pitch in to make arrangements, help with meals, and all the other necessary housekeeping and administrative tasks during travel.

Struggles

The problem arises when TWOS become vacation chameleons—absorbing the interests, preferences, and pace of everyone around them – while losing themselves.

As their own (unacknowledged) needs go unmet, TWOS can become irritable and defensive – easily offended by imagined slights. TWOS tend to blame-shift when things go wrong – as they always do on trips.

The more people push a TWO away, the more they cling.

Travel companions can feel smothered, wanting space from so much togetherness and talking about feelings.

Type TWO and vacation

What does vacation mean for Enneagram type TWO?

TWOS love being with people.

And they want to experience the world with the people they love.

“Healthy TWOS exhibit a joyful, spontaneous quality that can resemble the joie de vivre of healthy SEVENS. They laugh easily and deeply and do not take themselves too seriously, simply enjoying life’s bounty with people they care about. They possess a childlike enthusiasm for life and enjoy discovering new things about the world, others, and themselves.”

The Wisdom of the Enneagram
Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson

Traveling relationally for type TWO

Traveling with others.

It’s challenging when you get more than one personality in a room together. Add a few more characters (aka a family), and then send them off on a trip somewhere unfamiliar and out of routine. You have a potentially messy situation on your hands.

Becoming emotionally aware of yourself will help you communicate your wants and needs to others and open them to the same.

One time I heard a speaker say, “expectations ruin relationships.” It’s true in traveling that un-communicated expectations can cause a lot of conflicts.

TWOS traveling with others

True for everyone is that others do not think the same way as you.

Unless you’ve talked through things, you won’t be on the same page as your travel buddies.

TWOS value relationships more than anything. They will usually prioritize just being together, talking, and hanging out. For some types, this is the antithesis of a great vacation.

If you are a SEVEN, THREE, ONE, or EIGHT, you want to go, go, go. This expectation conflict – emoting vs. doing – can quickly become an issue.

FIVES and NINES need spaaaccceee, thank you very much.

The first step to a successful trip is understanding your travel companion’s motivations. What is the purpose? What are they expecting from this trip? What are their priorities?

And then, as a TWO, the challenge is to give people space to be who they are as you figure out who you are and what you want.

Traveling with a TWO

As with all the types, TWOS have many admirable characteristics and strengths. Compassion, being servant-hearted, friendly, and intuitive are just a few of their gifts.

An emotionally healthy TWO will nurture, provide practical help, laugh, and enjoy life. They will enter everyone’s joy and travel enthusiastically – making friends along the way.

TWOS need to be needed.

If you love a TWO, try not to take advantage of this.

Yes, let them pitch in. But keep the work of travel equitable.

“Because TWOS intuitively know people’s needs and emotions, they confidentially insert their help, advice, and encouragement, hoping others will express their thankfulness and amazement at their kindness and help. Without this acknowledgment, hurting TWOS will start to use manipulation, flattery, and people-pleasing to force others to express the appreciation and approval the TWO feels they need.”

Becoming Us
Beth and Jeff McCord

Conflict with a TWO often results from them feeling taken for granted or underappreciated. They don’t necessarily want you to take over; they want to feel validated for their effort.

Be aware of the TWOS tendency to absorb and reflect the desires of those around them – to their detriment. Many TWOS need permission to become aware of their legitimate needs.

It’s also helpful to remember that most TWOS are external processors. Meaning they need to talk things through – out loud. Often several times and from different angles. They need you to listen – and try not to fix things.

Type TWO and traveling the world

Skills for type TWOS tool belt: Improve travel experiences

Skill 1: Make a list of the things you want to do

For most people, this would be a fun diversion.

It will feel like uninvited homework for a TWO (and a NINE).

But it would help if you discovered what you want to do. And at least in this blog post, we’re only talking about vacation – not a life plan.

Skill 2: Go on a solo trip

We are not generally fans of solo travel.

However, a solo trip can be life-changing in the best way for a TWO.

TWOS have a hard time being alone (happily). So much of their identity comes from the reflection of meeting others’ needs and their subsequent feedback – without this mirror to look into, TWOS can be lost.

This is why taking at least one lone trip can be so healthy for a TWO. Having no outside needs to meet and being forced to decide what you want to do will cause personal introspection.

Skill 3: Identify your true needs

No one in our immediate family is a TWO, but even other types can have difficulty communicating what they need.

Jody and I devised a code on a recent trip to Washington, DC.

For me (Cheri), it’s “Heat…Feet…Eat”
I can handle being hot, having tired feet, or being hungry – one at a time. But combine two, and my personality goes south. All three, and I’m incapable of being rational or making a decision.

For Jody, it’s “Sleep…Drink…Move”. (We couldn’t come up with a catchy rhyme.) Jody starts to show cracks in his demeanor without adequate sleep and a water bottle. Add a museum security line or rush hour traffic, and I dream about solo travel.

Everyone has a low tolerance for something. A primary need that, if unmet, makes them stink as a travel companion.

The issue is that TWOS sometimes don’t know or don’t acknowledge this universal truth.

So right now, TWOS, do some soul-searching. Figure out what unmet bodily needs sully your usually pleasant personality and Tell. Your. Travel. Companions.

Here’s what a few type TWO’s said…

Interview #1: Elizabeth Griffin

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

The adventure.

I love seeing new things, having new experiences, being in beautiful places, and observing how others live.

Enjoying the memories is important – I love that.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

To have fun and enjoy a beautiful place.

I like time to absorb things, to be in the present moment, to take it all in. I want to pause and not just take a snapshot but paint a mural in my mind.

I love the break from daily responsibilities. I like not having to cook and being able to decide how to spend the day.

My ideal vacation would be in a beautiful place with the people I love. There would be plenty of downtime and leisurely walks. I like some activity and structure, but not too much.

I have discovered through experience that I enjoy some tours and structured activities. They make me feel like I’m getting the most out of a trip – which is important to me.

What is something you/TWOS struggle with when traveling? 

Missing my family.

I think TWOS probably struggle with being out of touch with their people.

I’ve found I have about a 10-day limit – even when traveling with my family.

I feel full and ready to go home. I love to travel, but I also love my home.

Also, I may not express my needs and wants. I think I’m telling people what I want, but I’m just hinting; others don’t always act on those hints.

For example, I noticed all the beautiful leather purses when we were in Italy. I kept mentioning how much I loved them. I expected my husband to recognize this and respond – to validate my desire to buy a purse.

When I finally said, “I want to buy a leather purse,” of course, he was fine – even happy – for me to purchase one.

But when he didn’t pick up on my hints, I started to spin a story in my head that he was stingy and didn’t want me to buy one…and none of this was true.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

Making sure my people are taken care of.

I prefer not to travel alone; I enjoy being with my husband. He’s a constant comfort, and we travel well together.

But when I have to go alone or leave the children behind (when they were younger), ensuring their needs are met is the biggest hurdle.

I feel that my family needs me at home to make it homey.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

Often, I choose a location because a friend has raved about it. I get most of my travel recommendations from real people (rather than research).

I also have places in mind I want to go, which have been a lifelong dream because of a personal connection, beautiful images, or something I’ve learned.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I think my ideal amount of travel would be two to three trips a year.

Interview #2: Lauren Corwin

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

I love being in the moment when I’m on vacation, and it is easy for me to dive in and soak in fun experiences.

Depending on my trip’s length, I usually dread when it has to end. I like to take many photos and am the kind of person who will look through them endlessly and relive the vacation. I need to be able to capture memories.

I struggle with planning because I get easily overwhelmed. My dream vacation would be contributing to the plan but ultimately not being the one in charge.

Also, important to note the people that I am with are more important to me than the actual destination. I adore spending time with loved ones and would rather be somewhere not great with them than the most sought-after destination without them.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

I think vacation is very important for my number. I think that Type TWO is prone to burnout due to the pressure we put on ourselves and the constant need to help others at the expense of our own needs.

I think it’s essential for TWO’s to get away and regroup. Vacation provides an opportunity to decompress and regain a healthy perspective.

Also, we just love to have fun with friends/family, and vacation is the perfect opportunity. 

What is something you/TWOS struggle with when traveling? 

I struggle with being out of my comfort zone. I am unique because I can be adventurous and love to try new things, but it all depends on my state of mind and who I am with. I tend to switch to adventure mode with somebody who makes me feel safe and secure and takes the lead. Otherwise, I like to feel comfortable and in control.

I am reserved and reluctant to engage with people I don’t know while traveling. I also become very drained in big crowds. For this reason, I tend to gravitate towards less popular destinations rather than touristy spots.

I think that, in general, my number struggles with people-pleasing and putting pressure on ourselves to ensure everyone is happy and having a good time.

We tend to be very observant and pick up the emotions of others. If our travel companion is upset and not enjoying themselves, we feel that bringing us down.

Also, my type is well known for “needing to be needed.” We tend to shut down if we feel useless or that the people around us are not appreciative or enjoying our presence. At this point, we can easily become more controlling and uptight.

I think TWO’s struggle when a group is not meshing well. It becomes stressful as we try to fix the group dynamic.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

My biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip is the planning phase. I get so excited during the initial phase of considering a vacation, but I tend to get overwhelmed. I get caught up in all the details of where to go, where to stay, the best deals, how to save money, transportation, safety, etc.

Josiah and I struggled when planning our honeymoon because we started looking at a sea of possibilities, and it was so draining for me to try and narrow down choices. I remember combing through lists and lists of hotels, resorts, and Airbnb’s and feeling ill because I didn’t know which one to choose.

I put so much pressure on our trip, thinking it had to be “the trip of a lifetime” and everything had to be perfect.

Things went much better when I relaxed, gained perspective, and let Josiah make a lot of the decisions.

I even get stressed when packing a suitcase. I can’t decide which things to bring and end up packing way too many clothes.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

When choosing a place to travel, I think about what I want to do on vacation, such as lots of activity vs. relaxing.

I then make sure I/we have a healthy/realistic budget for the trip.

From there, I research and choose places that are within the budget and look scenic, trying to stay off the beaten path as much as possible while still being safe.

At this point in my life, I would choose to travel to a new place each time to try and experience many different locations. Again, the actual site is not the most important thing to me; more about having a fun experience/quality time with loved ones.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I would probably travel 2 or 3 times a year at the most. For me, I think traveling could turn into too much of a good thing.

Traveling wasn’t a big part of my childhood, so now, it feels like a special occasion when I travel. I look forward to trips and feeling that initial excitement of beginning an adventure.

I feel that if I traveled frequently, some of that excitement would be lost. Plus, I am a homebody/introvert and am very content at home. Even after a dream vacation, I would need ample time to recharge before the next one. Hard to say how much my number would travel. A more extroverted TWO would probably enjoy going 4 or 5 times/a year.

Interview #3: Sarah Martinez

What is your favorite part about traveling? 

The trip itself and looking back are the best parts.

What do you think vacation means to your number? 

It’s about the experience you have in a place. It’s less about the trip’s details and more about the people you get to share experiences with.

What is something you/TWOS struggle with when traveling? 

Making the trip the best for everyone involved and making big decisions about the trip.

What is your biggest hurdle when preparing for a trip?

Planning out the finances.

How do you go through the process of choosing where to travel?

It is probably a combination of my finances for a trip and the next place on my bucket list where I can have a unique cultural experience.

How often would you travel if you didn’t have work or budget restraints/how often do you think your number would travel?

I love traveling and traveling a lot. I would say at least once a month! Honestly, I could go every weekend.

I think TWOS, in general, would enjoy traveling a few times a year. I think they may not be as focused on traveling as some other numbers, but enjoy it when they have the opportunity.

How do you think your orientation to time (i.e., past, present, future) affects your perspective on traveling with others?

Enneagram TWO’s operate in the present time.

I think for me, it’s always been about the trip itself. I’m never too concerned about the challenges or joys of traveling with others until I’m actually on a trip.

I think I tend to go with the flow and adapt to others’ needs and wants. I like to put others’ needs ahead of mine.

However, I mostly live in the day. I typically don’t think of what I’m doing with people a week ahead. And I don’t make much of a schedule because I like to play each day out as it goes.

But many people I travel with like to have a plan, so I have to adjust accordingly, which can be hard and feels like I can’t experience every moment and make it a memory.

More resources

Enneagram Types on Vacation

Favorite Resources to Help You Learn the Enneagram

Enneagram Type ONE on Vacation

Enneagram Type THREE on Vacation

Enneagram Type FOUR on Vacation

Enneagram Type FIVE on Vacation

Enneagram Type SIX on Vacation

Enneagram Type SEVEN on Vacation

Enneagram Type EIGHT on Vacation

Enneagram Type NINE on Vacation

Enneagram Types on Vacation: Wrap-Up

The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile

The Path Between Us by Suzanne Stabile